9.12pm

Counsel comes ever unlooked for. Alas! it is counsel that pride cannot tolerate. For women have pride as much as Men and ever as men deny it because their hearts cannot return the fairness in it . Comfort I have found but in manners that I not thought of initially. But at least I am comforted. Although my heart is still laden and grave, it feels now considerably lighter from the beginning, but more braced or softer, I cannot decide yet. It has been carelessly hewn. Some hurts go so deep that they cannot be unmade, but only diminished. Alas! counsel speaks as counsel fools and solutions remain far at bay. Riddles aside, more seeds of hope I surely need to plant. Who knows what more changes tomorrow's morning may bring? The wise know that little can be expected until the hours bring it forth. Wisdom it may be but a fool's hope some call. Yet stillness may be the deep breath before the plunge or the passing phase of winter into spring.

Subtlity and lore I have much but perhaps not a lot of wisdom. One see I'm constantly in unrest and ever as I overspill with unhappiness, I can't retain anything else that brings comfort. I have yet to find a way to strike a balance bewteen my desires and my principals. As the days drone on and I walk on alone in the path seemingly correct, for there is yet no indication of otherwise, I would stumble upon things that would lighten my load. But a lot more stumbles I would require if I rely solely upon them to cure me of my ailment. Still, no longer would I scorn the gifts of a gentle heart. But, I have naught yet a heart to embrace them. A time may come when I can speak plainer but even as so, I seek not pity, as fair a gift a gentle heart has to offer. When I cannot receive what I desire, I desire nothing. Yet, sorrow and pride ail and frost even young hearts. Tears do not become less grievous if they are unheard.