Breakdown

I'm a moron, a weakling a bad tempered, spoilt brat.
I laid down there on my bed crying for half an hour and thought about tearing up all my notes because I cant find my log book. And I thought about how disgusting everyone was and imagined myslef slapping and spitting on them. Ashamed to even say this. Where is my normal self? T_T Drats. Life sux.

Then I was walking ard in my tiny room, crying and sobbing and trying to look for my pathetic stubborn logbook. But I cant find it. T_T I need to complete that piece of work. T_T I wan to do something. T_T I need to find it. T)T
I'll keep up the good work. Just dont give up on me. T_T Dont tell me I'm wasting a yr. T_T Dont tell me I have no flair in physics chem and maths. T_T CLA sux T_T And I hate TAF. T_T I'm trying to do some work here. =o =( =( =( =( =( =( T_T

Dude, I wont give way to some weak feelings and start feeling like every1 owes me a life. I'm quite awake. There is no question. No need one word answers from my mother. No need people jumping out of my way when I'm pulling a long face. I hate that. T_T I'm not a freak. My family shun me when I bang my door a little harder. When I call my mum a little louder she gives that look that recruits give when they knock into an officer's whose rank they cant make out. Dont look at me like I'm accusing you. It hurts me. Eventually, it disgusts me. Drats. When I stop speaking for 10mins people stop speaking to me for 10hrs. Wei. T_T I'm not Hitler. And I cant tell new jokes every 5mins. I cant give you asmile if I'm feeling upset. And dont ignore my presence just because I'm reading newspapers. Please, we are sitting at the same table even. Stop engaging in whispers RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME just because I mentioned names of historical figures. Yea man. But I really cant discuss over lunch who is the cutest guy in school. =/ T_T I'm just a normal girl. T_T Even if you see a stray cat you would stop to pat it. T_TT_T Well, maybe you wouldnt if u see the cat snapping,hissing and showing claws. Otherwise, it's just a lonely and cold cat in the rain, waiting for a warm touch. Haiz...I would be an alcoholic if I didnt have gastric problems. It's the only thing which scares me, bcos it really feels like hell when you sprawl on the floor in pain for 2hrs while your brother and sister are both playing computer games and acting like it someone took out laundry to dry. And your mum gives you a glance and act like you are playing an episode on tv. Nice eh. =)

A plea: If you cant give me sympathy then just give me respect.

Enough of tamtrums. What the hell is in crying? I'm going to continue to look for my log book. Log book.