O my heartless Light!

It is July again. Let me celebrate the anniversary of my blog with my chronic disease of melancholy.

Light!

Let me find you.

Let me hold you.

Let me end my endless nights!

-

O my dear Light,

Stop flickering playfully,

Please answer my prayers and dry my tears,

You had made me run long miles in the winding forest,

night after night.

-

You lighted up and you died out,

and you died out and lighted up.

I flew and I galloped

and I chased and I followed

but when I ever got so near,

I thought I could hold you in my hands,

Why

do You have to disappear?

-

O my elfish Light,

stop fluttering heartlessly

and end my endless nights!

_________________________________

I actually wrote the above ytd. After mulling for the whole night, reading some things this morning and mulling again, I decided that, well, after running wildly in the night for so long, I have already gotten used to it. So,

-

O my wild night!

My never ending wild night,

I'm caught in a frenzy,

perhaps your darkness can soothe me.

-

Be gone my elfish Light!

For you lighted up the forest

and made me see the beastly me.

Perhaps you didnt appear for me to see,

for while I was chasing you,

You were chasing She.

-

If in no Light I cant see with my eyes,

my Heart, I shall be using thee,

for I have Eyes that have blinded me.

-

Ah my Heart,

please give me some directions,

but please dont lead me blindlessly

like my flickering Light had led me.

Through the thistles and the nettles I have gone

and I'm already made weary.

-

So, my Heart,

lead me in this darkness

in this unfathomable darkness.