Silent closure

Tired. Not what sleep can cure. From playing too long a silent game. Need more to sustain. Trying to be nonchalant proved abit too draining. Everytime I give in to my desires, my wants and allow myself to fantasize too much, it takes a toll on me. Getting tired too frequently. Things are becoming abit of a chore. I pity the pple who hear me complain of tiredness too. =p hehe..

Now I'm back to listening to music while sleeping. Meaning to put on my headphone to sleep. Just to take my mind off certain things. If not I cant fall aslp. I demanded too much and crossed the line. Scorched. Already given up half some time ago. I think I ought to refocus. And give up completely. I feel things have turned abit awkward lately. As the one who started it, I will put an end to it. Ought to be more nonchalant about it. I think time can help me. It always does. Whether it is 1 week or 1 year. I'll just sit and wait for either the start or the end to come. If things are optimistic, there will be a new start. If things are as it is, it will be an end. But still, everything that has a start will have an end. Cant be too hopeful.

Just a few more days for the last gd look.

Parting is sweet sorrow. I never try to say bb. When pple say bb to me I wld feel upset. Childish feelings, haha.. Anyway, when I do say bb, it is when I'm fed up or when I have given up. Resigned. Must reflect on the bad things I have done. Karma.

(contemplative. but almost done. almost decided.)

Listened to some FF midis. Always sad. Perhaps I shld store them somewhere else and stop listening to them. Next song up, "Two in a million". Almost my favourite, almost gives me happy thoughts. 3rd song, 孤單北半球. ^^ wonder if he rmbrs ornot. dreaming~ suddenly feeling more light hearted. Is this called reminiscing? =) The last plea: please see me as an equal.