Abashed

This blog is my loyal confidant, especially when I'm feeling abashed or frustrated.

I'm getting rather naggy recently- you can hardly see any posts last year. But, to avoid being a nuisance to the others, I will lament and vent my frustrations here instead. It rather makes me happier and spiritually lighter after a post here, but sometimes I do yearn for a nice hug badly. Those kind which can take away all troubles, make you feel lighter than candy floss and make you smile in your sleep. Or maybe I need someone to think of me. THE DARN PHONE IS BREAKING MY CONCENTRATION! *cry*

Lemme start whimpering. *whimper*

After having a hectic and stressful week, I'm suddenly faced with a lonely weekend with nothing meaningful to do. I jus came back from the movies with my best buddy, we went shopping and talked about the future. That's a common topic between me and her. Now I'm back in this lonely house (every1 else is out) thinking of some unrealistic things (again) and saw some things which left me feeling upset and drained. Wish I could read and write and draw and scribble and bake all day. Cant tell if I'm feeling stressed or upset or both. Wish someone wld take care of my troubles for me. Wish I cld wake up one day and someone tells me, 'hey, I helped u quit school already. Dont worry about the degree, you have me.' Sounds incredulous. Stress. I often imagine if one day I were married and my husband wakes me up on a fine afternoon, telling me he quited my job for me, 'cos he cldnt bear to see me so stressed up over work, and tells me not to worry cos he will provide for me his whole life, I think I wld... not sure what I wld do since that havent happened =x

Does it sound like some cliched fairytale where the cinderalla in rags waits for her prince charming to come and take her away? Maybe all girls like fairytales. But for sure, every girl hopes to be the special one. Those kind who can make 浪子回头. I rmbr once a guy friend told me, 'all girls only like lies'. He quoted an example: lets say a girl ask a guy if he misses her. If the guy told her the truth that he havent thought about her since their last conversation, the girl wld be cross. Well, if the answer was something sweeter like the magical 3 words 'I miss you', the result wld be very different. (Sidetrack a little. Some of my guy friends asked me the logic behind the 3 words "I miss you". It's actually very simple. These 3 words are kind of a trigger. The girls are satisfied by the imaginations that are triggered off by these words. Personally. I wont ever ask a guy if he misses me ornot. And 80% of the time, I wld try to prevent myself from giving a fake smile when a guy says he misses me, but 0% if he said so while he's eating or laughing as though he just told me a really nice maths joke. Meaning I will give a huge fake sweet smile which wld eventually turn into a snigger and I wont try to turn my face away when I roll my eyes. )

That's (the part about girls liking lies) rather hurtful but indeed very true. Maybe that was how he melts the heart of every girl ard him. With lies. Coaxing and decieving the foolish girls into believing they are special. Well, I dont think his lies work on me though, those stereotype sweet stuff I have heard alot and enough to make me numb to them. Normally I return the words with a polite smile or a 'really? I'll try to believe that'. The guys hardly need creativity. Girls are easy to satisfy. Just tell them you miss them and pretend to rmbr everything that they told you, including the incident about feeding the stray kitten, then bingo, you got another girl at your feet. Doesnt matter if you rmbr their names ornot. They will rmbr yours and think of it 24hrs a day. Sometimes, girls do know they are lies. But it just makes them happy. Happy fools.

I'm being abit extreme here. Alrite, I rmbr my principal saying that it's downright stupid to be an extremist. That's the only thing I rmbr from her. But anyway, this is just a blog, my blog at that. =x

Resigned.
Maybe women are meant to be weaker than men afterall. Maybe I'll just stop being a feminist (it seriously turned me off when I found out 90% of the girls I know think that a woman's most impt role in life is being a wife and a mother) and try be a little woman. Just look at the girls who giggles and talks in a foolish fashion and only think about cute keychains and gel test tube with gilters. =.= Maybe being better in a debate, chairing debates, write sarcastic essays, talking about the corruption of United Nations and reading alone in the library is a huge turnoff for guys...but thinking about it, even my 'girlfriends' cant take it when I try to explain to them the reason why water drips out of an air-con when u keep changing its temperature..lolz..but still, I cant unscrew a nail without testing the effect of turning both clockwise and anticlockwise first and I wld gladly pretend to be very stupid if a guy volunteers to help install the newest anti-virus program or change the wires of my computer the nxt time they burn =p And the nxt time I will quit volunteering to start the fire and gape in admiration when a guy manages to light up one after wasting one full packet of charcoal. It's really oso kind of upsetting when the girls in my class nudge me to let the guys take over when I havent got the fire up after 5mins of try. But I promise I'll try to stop putting the guys down if a guy from my class can start a fire in 5mins at the nxt bbq outing..muahaha