hahaha! T_T It can be weird how much stuff I can think of in a short time and how fast my mood can change, briefly, by reading about what other pple feel. I have been thinking alot again and I realised really, how small I am T_T hahahaha! I'm going out again later. I'll be out everyday, I dont want to stay at home, stare at the screen and wait for something that may never come. T_T I once asked a friend, what he thought of me. He said something, which I cant really remember, but I replied him jokingly that I'm young sweet and innocent. He replied rather seriously that I'm young but definately not sweet and innocent. Maybe naive. Duh T_T In any case, we both agree that I am rather direct. Well, I'm not really the kind that can yak yak on anything in real life, but I tend to make my point hard =x and pple dont like it. I know they dont like it, but..er... I gotta say it. Haiz...

I've been upset most of the time. Maybe more in the morning, in the afternoon I will find things to do. Sometimes I tire myself out and go straight to bed after I return home, sometimes I simply cant get to sleep and wake up, sometimes to think abit, sometimes to cry abit. Some days I'm able to convince myself out of things. And I thought, ha! I can already leave everything behind. But very often, I slip back into moody states after 1 day or 2. There's nothing on the tv, there's nothing on my shelves. I cant possibly lie down on my bed and cry 24/7. It's a great way to forget about hurtful things but they are of little help. I thought I should face the problem and speak about it but... what is there to say? What are we heading? T_T I need a good shake, a very good one T_T It's tormenting me everyday, to guess, to think, to try to forget. Girls are narrow minded. haha. T_T I'll be waiting. I'm always waiting. I'm always here, but you are not.