Mixing around with my clique of friends sent me into a spate of well, chatter. (Rmbr my paragraph on power of suggestion? Now I'm really 'suggested'.)
Starting with today ba...
Today, I finally went out with those bunch of guys! Namely, Seok, WJ and WJ, Kry, min ah min and yewling. Okies, haha, they should be really glad cos I missed the previous 2 outings and they missed me =x As usual, I was up to no good and my finger kept clicking on the shutter of my digicam. Hee...guess I really like taking photographs. Of cos, I didnt let anyone take my photograph!
The weather was really hot today and I nearly died when I found out that we were having steamboat in an unair-conditioned restaurant. It turned out to be quite enjoyable, of cos, kudos to my bunch of sweety friends, haha. Though, I found out that most of us have er, matured a little. Lame jokes were bountiful of cos. You know a leopard cant change its spots! =) Yuling became the shellfish and prawn king again. Seok, the bdae granny, won the spicy king title. She nearly ate up the most spicy soup base by herself. Kry and I shared the same taste in the soup base too. But I couldnt share her craze for mushrooms, hahaha. I attacked the pig intestines, stomach and liver, heee...Weejia wore red, snatching for attention with the bdae granny. He's on weekend camp hol, and I feel that the camp really had quite an effect on him. Still, melancholic cum practical cum cold blooded as I am, I have to say, life's like that!
Further back a few weeks, I was rotting at home due to the long holiday. I quitted my job in relief teaching 1 month earlier than I planned to initially. I took to reading, but my patience wore thin when it comes to random novels that I pick out of the shelves of community libraries. So, I ended up reading history texts! Yea yea! Hee, also, I borrowed a few chinese books on writing (to improve my writing skills but I ended up reading them as history and comical texts. quite fun actually.). To say the truth, 10% of me regret taking up project and facilities management. Haha.
Wish I could do something like CL, Jap, French, translation, international studies, chinese history and culture in NUS. Yoohoo! But I would be dreaming if I did, haha. Nevertheless, I'll work hard towards the exams. I got A1 in PW leh =x That says something right? So, I should be able to do well after all. (Geez...am I lying to myself?) It wont be that bad (thats what I tell myself). Then, I hope I would be able to bid successfully for major in management (technology)! So, now, dont think so much! Like a predator, I should only look in front of me. Yap. (You know, this is biology...)
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
26 May 2007
Recently, or should I say, for the past 2 weeks, I have re-logged in to my FWO account. This game took up a huge part of my life 'bout 4-5 years ago when I was very much addicted to it.
I have quitted 2 years ago. Now that I'm back, I tried to look at the life that I have used to lead.
Most of my old friends have left the game. But they're still very much alive, thank you very much. However, when I looked at the traces and hints of the lives they're leading now, a feeling of regret came rushing over me. I see that they're living well. I see that they have kept in touch. I see that they have still kept the friendships which I have chose to leave behind. I suddenly understood why a few days ago, my friend, KQ, was so mad at me for not putting in effort in sustaining our friendship. But...am I really such an irresponsible person? I dont know. Is this called backlash? Or is this called...retribution is too hard a word...
When I quitted 2 years ago, I've never thought of turning back. There were too many things happening back then that drove me to make this decision. That is why, when a very close friend of mine started to play this game, I was very angry. Because it reminds me of the life that I have put behind me. Now, I start to suffer the consequences of the decision that I have made. The consequences that I thought I would never have to face because I thought I would never have to see the things which I have turned my back on.
It sounds heartless, but the truth was more merciless still back then. One fine day, I was freaked (a weird word to use, a long story to tell) out, chickened out.... So, I did things my usual dramatic way and refused to get anywhere near internet. Still, I am starting to doubt.. Seeing traces of this past made me feel pangs of, I dont know what, sadness or unwillingness?
Therefore if there is no point in turning back, maybe I should grit my teeth and hold on with this decision. Since I decided to cut off all contacts with the game 2 years ago, it makes no sense that the game or its people would welcome me back with an open arm. I still have my game character (blar..), still know how to use it (bleh..). For those few friends who are still ingame, perhaps the friendship can still be renewed. However, for the majority, the best of the friends that I have made, I'm really afraid I've lost them since. I dont really have the courage to look them up, or pretend that we're still as close as ever. After so many years, unwillingly or not, ties would have strained. However, I am really glad, and comforted that, well, there's still one, out of these many friends, who is still in touch with me. Though, he's kind of busy.
Thinking aloud: I wonder if we have lost that spark between us. Looks like, for the both of us, we have to let nature take its course.
Perhaps, I might feel better if I find the initial reason for which I decided to say, chop chop, Goodbye.
I have quitted 2 years ago. Now that I'm back, I tried to look at the life that I have used to lead.
Most of my old friends have left the game. But they're still very much alive, thank you very much. However, when I looked at the traces and hints of the lives they're leading now, a feeling of regret came rushing over me. I see that they're living well. I see that they have kept in touch. I see that they have still kept the friendships which I have chose to leave behind. I suddenly understood why a few days ago, my friend, KQ, was so mad at me for not putting in effort in sustaining our friendship. But...am I really such an irresponsible person? I dont know. Is this called backlash? Or is this called...retribution is too hard a word...
When I quitted 2 years ago, I've never thought of turning back. There were too many things happening back then that drove me to make this decision. That is why, when a very close friend of mine started to play this game, I was very angry. Because it reminds me of the life that I have put behind me. Now, I start to suffer the consequences of the decision that I have made. The consequences that I thought I would never have to face because I thought I would never have to see the things which I have turned my back on.
It sounds heartless, but the truth was more merciless still back then. One fine day, I was freaked (a weird word to use, a long story to tell) out, chickened out.... So, I did things my usual dramatic way and refused to get anywhere near internet. Still, I am starting to doubt.. Seeing traces of this past made me feel pangs of, I dont know what, sadness or unwillingness?
Therefore if there is no point in turning back, maybe I should grit my teeth and hold on with this decision. Since I decided to cut off all contacts with the game 2 years ago, it makes no sense that the game or its people would welcome me back with an open arm. I still have my game character (blar..), still know how to use it (bleh..). For those few friends who are still ingame, perhaps the friendship can still be renewed. However, for the majority, the best of the friends that I have made, I'm really afraid I've lost them since. I dont really have the courage to look them up, or pretend that we're still as close as ever. After so many years, unwillingly or not, ties would have strained. However, I am really glad, and comforted that, well, there's still one, out of these many friends, who is still in touch with me. Though, he's kind of busy.
Thinking aloud: I wonder if we have lost that spark between us. Looks like, for the both of us, we have to let nature take its course.
Perhaps, I might feel better if I find the initial reason for which I decided to say, chop chop, Goodbye.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
When you got to say, you got to say.
Colours mean a great deal to people, yup? I just visited the blogs of some of my old classmates and I realised that most of their blogs have very very dark backgrounds. Which actually is quite soothing to the eye. It makes reading easier. Except that the font is often way too colourful and often surprisingly small. My blog has a white background, which makes it a little boring, a little too bright, though I feel it has a wakening effect.
I realise that reading blogs can be a very inspirational thing when it comes to writing your own blogs. It is because of the power of suggestion. Rather powerful. For example, I give you a very physiological example, yawning. If one among many friends sitting together yawns, the others probably feel bored. Then one other friend may probably also yawn.
The power of suggestion also applies to writing. Just like, when you see people write, you will have an urge to write an article of your own. I'm not really gonna say which blogs I have read jus now, haha, but I saw 1 which is meaningful as usual. I saw 1 that is funny and detailed as usual. I saw one that sounds quite angry. Then I scanned through 2 which are boring. Seems to me that all my friends are relatively enjoying their lives, even if it may be a little tough at the moment.
Today, I very unexpectedly quarrelled with a friend. I normally do not quarrel because it strains relationships. But this one got on my nerves. It happened because for the upteenth time, I postponed a date. This sounds out of the thin air. But a friend of mine got very angry when I said that I dont feel like going out, again?
Later, I talked a bit about this source of discontent with a seperate party and this other party reckons that if she were the person in discussion, she would be rather mad too. I was a little taken aback by this remark. Because, in my opinion, there is nothing to be angry about when someone dont want to move her butt from her house. Hence, I tried to think from the other point of view, still.... I think there is just not sufficient reason to flareup. I was accused of not putting in effort to maintain the friendship, which upon hearing, made me flare up.
The argument with my friend ended without an end, halfway online.
There are so many blogs, so many windows to people's life, through which we can also feel what they're feeling. Coming to think of it, I wasnt able to blog, or able to write because I lack a driving force. Sometimes I blog because I need response. Sometimes I blog because I need a vent.
Alright, I'm going to the next post because I'm gonna start a seperate topic.
I realise that reading blogs can be a very inspirational thing when it comes to writing your own blogs. It is because of the power of suggestion. Rather powerful. For example, I give you a very physiological example, yawning. If one among many friends sitting together yawns, the others probably feel bored. Then one other friend may probably also yawn.
The power of suggestion also applies to writing. Just like, when you see people write, you will have an urge to write an article of your own. I'm not really gonna say which blogs I have read jus now, haha, but I saw 1 which is meaningful as usual. I saw 1 that is funny and detailed as usual. I saw one that sounds quite angry. Then I scanned through 2 which are boring. Seems to me that all my friends are relatively enjoying their lives, even if it may be a little tough at the moment.
Today, I very unexpectedly quarrelled with a friend. I normally do not quarrel because it strains relationships. But this one got on my nerves. It happened because for the upteenth time, I postponed a date. This sounds out of the thin air. But a friend of mine got very angry when I said that I dont feel like going out, again?
Later, I talked a bit about this source of discontent with a seperate party and this other party reckons that if she were the person in discussion, she would be rather mad too. I was a little taken aback by this remark. Because, in my opinion, there is nothing to be angry about when someone dont want to move her butt from her house. Hence, I tried to think from the other point of view, still.... I think there is just not sufficient reason to flareup. I was accused of not putting in effort to maintain the friendship, which upon hearing, made me flare up.
The argument with my friend ended without an end, halfway online.
There are so many blogs, so many windows to people's life, through which we can also feel what they're feeling. Coming to think of it, I wasnt able to blog, or able to write because I lack a driving force. Sometimes I blog because I need response. Sometimes I blog because I need a vent.
Alright, I'm going to the next post because I'm gonna start a seperate topic.
事后感言拼盘
人生不如意事真的是十之八九呀！
最近我的时运特别的低。挫败感特别‘旺盛’。不知道那些坏消息是不是朋友，全部相约好同一时间来拜访我。突然间这么多不速之客，简直搞得我心情一度陷入谷底。
那你一定很好奇是什么事弄得我心烦意乱，甚至丧失信心。其实不就是成绩哩。。。
首 先，几个月前成绩的放榜使我自觉是个失败的学生。再来，某大学拒绝了我的申请。再来考什么SAT，拿的分数又不符合某大学，的那个科系的那个入学标准。 加起来，简直令人想哭。分明是在炮轰我，在打击我！把我变成了一无是处。
眼 见身边好友同学各个成绩优越，那可真是雪上加霜。成绩差强人意的我，不知不觉要靠边站。至于选科什么的，什么大好前程，全部和我 扯不上关系。我为我渺茫的前途感到沮丧，感到彷徨无助。似乎是昔日的戏言，今朝全到眼前来。当然，再此并非戏言身后事，而是戏言无法当上大医生大律师什么 的。
这个人要面子树要皮。我死鸭子嘴硬，说不在意。其实，我还不是凡夫俗子一个。心里是十分在乎的。人生的一大转捩点耶！能说不要紧就 不要紧吗？偷偷告诉 你。有都是骗人的。抛开潇洒的一面，我辞掉了临时功，决定在家里当个闲人。名义上是要好好享受这段难得的假期。实则是要在家里养我这颗。。。这颗。。。受 创的心灵。
别看我语气轻松。其实我经过了多个星期的低迷才能如此心平气和的在这里打字。有很多时候是自己在房里拭泪的。能不伤心吗？只是对人开心背人愁。
并非说我现在不在意了，而是我渐渐接受了。
我 记得，曾经有位老师说我是温室里的小花。他／她喻意我经不起风吹雨淋，没有恒心，做事轻易放弃，难成大器。当然，我听了觉得很恼。我不服气，因为我觉得 我已经很努力了。我得不到我要的成绩，看不到我想要的效果，我觉得，非常非常的委屈。我写的文章被批评，我就难以接受。我想，我真是给那可恶的老师说对 了。我的确经不起失败的大浪。成功的彼岸，我将无法到达。因为经过一两次失败我就放弃了。我决定让自己好过一点，自己安慰我自己几句，最后还是没有进取。 所以，至今，我无法写出好文章。
到底我想说什么？
我的失败早可以预料。因为的态度十年来没多达改变。被人斥一句说我文句不好，我就放弃写作了。成绩考得烂一些，就连奋斗心也赔上了。
当然，现在我还是有点一蹶不振。但是我会尽力不自怨自艾。现在我失败了，并不代表我在别的领域会失败。就算我无法考进那些高荣誉的科系，我也不应该只是抱怨。如果连自己都看不起自己的科系，那么将如何在社会与他人一教高低？
最重要的还是态度。都说了不如意事十之八九。考验是来让我们更加坚强的。不要对失败低头！首先就要劝自己接受失败，然后继续加油了。后边儿的考验，大把 咧。与其羡慕别人，还不如自己先来努力。只要继续勇往直前，能够逆来顺受，就算带着充满失败的疤痕的身躯。。。我们还
是会有成功的一天的。
还要在往上爬。。。似乎也并不太难。。。
说说而已。。。呵呵。
最近我的时运特别的低。挫败感特别‘旺盛’。不知道那些坏消息是不是朋友，全部相约好同一时间来拜访我。突然间这么多不速之客，简直搞得我心情一度陷入谷底。
那你一定很好奇是什么事弄得我心烦意乱，甚至丧失信心。其实不就是成绩哩。。。
首 先，几个月前成绩的放榜使我自觉是个失败的学生。再来，某大学拒绝了我的申请。再来考什么SAT，拿的分数又不符合某大学，的那个科系的那个入学标准。 加起来，简直令人想哭。分明是在炮轰我，在打击我！把我变成了一无是处。
眼 见身边好友同学各个成绩优越，那可真是雪上加霜。成绩差强人意的我，不知不觉要靠边站。至于选科什么的，什么大好前程，全部和我 扯不上关系。我为我渺茫的前途感到沮丧，感到彷徨无助。似乎是昔日的戏言，今朝全到眼前来。当然，再此并非戏言身后事，而是戏言无法当上大医生大律师什么 的。
这个人要面子树要皮。我死鸭子嘴硬，说不在意。其实，我还不是凡夫俗子一个。心里是十分在乎的。人生的一大转捩点耶！能说不要紧就 不要紧吗？偷偷告诉 你。有都是骗人的。抛开潇洒的一面，我辞掉了临时功，决定在家里当个闲人。名义上是要好好享受这段难得的假期。实则是要在家里养我这颗。。。这颗。。。受 创的心灵。
别看我语气轻松。其实我经过了多个星期的低迷才能如此心平气和的在这里打字。有很多时候是自己在房里拭泪的。能不伤心吗？只是对人开心背人愁。
并非说我现在不在意了，而是我渐渐接受了。
我 记得，曾经有位老师说我是温室里的小花。他／她喻意我经不起风吹雨淋，没有恒心，做事轻易放弃，难成大器。当然，我听了觉得很恼。我不服气，因为我觉得 我已经很努力了。我得不到我要的成绩，看不到我想要的效果，我觉得，非常非常的委屈。我写的文章被批评，我就难以接受。我想，我真是给那可恶的老师说对 了。我的确经不起失败的大浪。成功的彼岸，我将无法到达。因为经过一两次失败我就放弃了。我决定让自己好过一点，自己安慰我自己几句，最后还是没有进取。 所以，至今，我无法写出好文章。
到底我想说什么？
我的失败早可以预料。因为的态度十年来没多达改变。被人斥一句说我文句不好，我就放弃写作了。成绩考得烂一些，就连奋斗心也赔上了。
当然，现在我还是有点一蹶不振。但是我会尽力不自怨自艾。现在我失败了，并不代表我在别的领域会失败。就算我无法考进那些高荣誉的科系，我也不应该只是抱怨。如果连自己都看不起自己的科系，那么将如何在社会与他人一教高低？
最重要的还是态度。都说了不如意事十之八九。考验是来让我们更加坚强的。不要对失败低头！首先就要劝自己接受失败，然后继续加油了。后边儿的考验，大把 咧。与其羡慕别人，还不如自己先来努力。只要继续勇往直前，能够逆来顺受，就算带着充满失败的疤痕的身躯。。。我们还
是会有成功的一天的。
还要在往上爬。。。似乎也并不太难。。。
说说而已。。。呵呵。
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
![Photobucket](http://%22http//s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff92/shinobikaiko/?action=view¤t=desertedXX.gif")
-