manqeu beaucoup

Cant say I agree very much with the love AJ part...but I do love us.

On a regular frustrated holiDAY...

I spent 6hours on writing today. I think I used up my inspiration for they day bcos I cant squeeze anything out from my mind already. Once I start backspacing whatever I type, I know it is time to take a break until my next brainwave comes.

I tried to speedtype just now. My fingers cant type as fast as I think, meaning by the time I type finish the first phrase, I forget what were the original words that first came out of my mind. I have a software that recognises my voice so I only need to speak into it and see the words type themselves out but problem is...there's something wrong with the reception. Then I tried typing in english (sometimes I think in english, it is faster). So when I cool down a bit later, I can translate the words slowly. It works, only from time to time. A few days ago I ended up writing a whole paragraph in english and had to translate the whole thing into chinese again. I dont think this is the way to write a chinese novel, hahaha.

I was typing halfway when Joan msg me and asked about my prom dress. Ah...when people suddenly display an interest in a dress of yours it means they want to borrow it. So, I lent it to her.

Reluctantly I took a break after this cos my sister suddenly burst into my room to show me two cups of milk tea. I was forcefully reminded of huanhuan hahaha. Then Sabrina called me to ask if I want to work at WSSS again. Gawd, I was sorely tempted by the salary BUT, I havent forgotten why I quitted in the first place. Better spend my time thinking of how to continue writing my novel. I've already been at it for 4 years and kept on adding new characters and plots. I dont want to continue for another 4 years. BUT, I myself am a bit lost. The novel makes me feel like I have glue in my head. It is a bad sign...because it means that any readers will feel that way too. I have to edit the thing A G A I N. Feel like swearing but I'm very civilised and cultured.
Then I went to pare a 梨 for myself but I end up cutting my middle finger. -.- So while I'm typing now, I'm not using my left middle finger. Very awkward typing...FYI I'm still typing with both hands but I think my right hand is automatically snatching all the keys that my left hand is supposed to press. Good boy, but I think it is going to cramp anytime now. And bcos I'm not using my left middle finger, I keep typing 'fo' instead of 'of' and some other words keep spelling backwards too.

Tried to read some novels to get inspiration but ended up with a sinking feeling that resulted in more mental blocks and more backspacing of my typing. So frustrated and frustrating. And I'm beginning to think my novel is bad!!! There are too much details to look after la. HECK. So, I end up blogging....I need to have a more complete plot! I need to draw up a plotline for my novel and I havent done either for the past 4 years because I cant seem to set my mind! So I cant grit my teeth and go on with it!! GRRRR...If I write storylines by storylines then I will find out that my plot is not good enough and I will feel frustrated all over again!! Then I may spend years after year...trying to perfect it while knowing that perfection is unattainable. Guess what? I'm not even sure if I like my own story...going back to think about it again.