December post

Time for a little december post. I am driven by a few factors to post on my blog. It is active you know, but sometimes my brain isnt, so I dont write. However it is raining now and I just logged out of game feeling a bit bored and down, and my scalp itches a bit, so here I am blogging and grumbling abit.

The december weather has been wet and cold and coupled by the fact that I feel abit bored everyday, each passing minute seems a bore. I sleep late, wake late, eat, drink iced tea, watch tv and play game. Sounds like a blissful perfect school holiday except it is not. Drilling works wake me up at 10am and 1pm each day promptly. Heck the upgrading lifts. I walk 3 blocks away to buy drinks and I can still hear the dreadful ongoing drilling and drilling. The floor in my doorway is also coated with a thin layer of cement dust.

My head has been hurting for quite some time. My mum says it is because I wash my hair at night and didnt dry it properly. Now there is wind in it. I am inclined to believe it, because my head feels like it is cracking into two. But as I settle down, I think it may be more of a psychological problem.

I have suffered from tension headache before. As the name suggests, the headache occurs because of tension. Well you cant blame me, if u get woken up each day by drilling works and then proceed to do a routine of senseless and non productive things (like playing games and watch tv). The game is not exactly as interesting as it used to be also. A few years ago when I started playing the population was healthy. Now it is dying. So there is not much pple for me to chat with when I am ingame.

Also, I have some problems with my dieting regime. Something to do with my determination no doubt. I may have to put in more effort. But my will may be tested once again when I go for the chalet organised by yl on 20th.

Speaking of yl, I must mention our shopping escapade 2 days earlier. Fm was absent. When I msg her later in the evening when I am at home, she explained that she was tired and has been feeling down. I can understand it, or reason that are personal. I have a suspicion but some words are better left unsaid. Still, I encouraged her to chin up and I sincerely hope that her mood recovers soon. WJ may be able to give some nudge in this direction. No doubt, no matter how much WJ changes, he is still him, haha. Sidetrack a little, I wrapped his bdae present and going to buy his bdae cake. Hopefully my taste in those bdae gifts wont be criticised! Pple around me have a tendency to do it :x
Shopping was fun, perhaps a small getaway from my tedious routine of slp eat tv game. However I was on wedges and my nose was being watery and itchy so while I shopped I keep having the feeling of faintness. I still enjoyed myself though. Goods galore, FOOD galore! My eyes had a feast and I laid my fingers on most things I see, lols. My favourite shop was Precious Thots, funnily, I seem to have developed a new liking for the cute things inside. They were, honestly, quite intricatingly made. We spent the most time there I think, as yl was busy getting a gift box huge enough to contain her present for rikki.

Speaking of rikki, I havent seen him and am quite eager to. I nearly had a chance but the chance was denied by yl and put down by wjing and seok. Rikki was in vincity but she wouldnt let him show his face to me. LOL. Undoubtedly I would have said a couple of lame jokes in his face but my aim was just to see what kind of guy is dating my pal and wanna size him up to see if he will treat my pal good. Hmm...but maybe I should leave them alone, to brew their love :x

I will invite eugene to the chalet after all. Grudging, admittedly, some of my 'down feeling' stewed from him. Ok, now is the time for me to complain complain complain and I shall tempory cease to explore my own faults in this paragraph. Well he is good to me. But I just cant but he angry that he has no time for me. My temper flares up easily these days. Really, and I think I quarelled with him a few times more than often the past few weeks. Been crying also. He explained that his work is busy and he is stressed and whatever the heck but I just need some concern from you! Imagine I log out the game in front of him in a huff and he didnt even say a word about it. Inside I am screaming for his attention and then when I turned around, I didnt see him at my shoulder. THAT is extremely hurtful. When you are feeling down, depressed, bored, lonely and want your bf to say some loving words of care and concern, that is when he is not there. What can I do? Tell me what I can do. I tried a lot of methods, agressive passive, angry, concern, patient, tears. HA. None was the perfect remedy. I have a good mind to go off and do some crying right now. I know I cant complain to him or flare up in front of him. After the 3rd time I did that, I cant bear to anymore. Imagine I force him into a corner? /cry. So I come blogging. A blog he doesnt know exists in any case. Luckily for that I can talk freely here. Not that I have any secrets to hide. Although, haiz,...I dunno. It is just frustrating. his stress makes me stress and upset too and we cant do a single thing about it. He doesnt do anything about it too. Hate this. My bolster actually gives more comfort to me at this instant. What else can I do put put my mind elsewhere. Make him quit his police job? siao. But, haiz. Sad. The whole thing is just sad when it comes to this part. Otherwise it is still blissful. Just totally wish he has more time to accompany me. More attention into my body lamguage (like when I dont sms you, you know I am angry and waiting for you to humour me). Like...I want something cute and funny for christmas present. But...haiz...he says ok. he always does. An ok, with a big smile. It catches my breath for a second as I am thrilled. =) Really. Then I think about the disappointment...and...the euphoria evaporates, well slightly. There is always a chance that he will buy it for me right? Although he spends like 1000 years to think of what to buy and then end up buying something completely different. Hmm...but ok, am I difficult to please? =/ I am moody, but what can I do? I feel inferior now? How can I relive it? How can I not project these onto other people? Supressing it has far repercussions. I have experienced them before. Dark periods of my life. I have no wish to go back to those periods.

Think of something else to divert my attention pls =.=

Ok movies. Movies and exam results. Ok. =)
Breathe relax.
Well december there will be alot of movies. I am most looking forward to I am Legend. I love sci fic and thriller most. But I wont say no to a nice korean comedy too, haha.

Wonder when my results are coming out. Online is on the 26th, mercifully. I think the post might reach earlier. Hmm....I wonder how I will fare. I know for sure that statistics will be a goner. As for the rest, I will have to keep my fingers crossed. Then I have to worry about what modules I am going to take next semester. Advance translation will be out of the topic because it is too high lvl and I doubt they will except me this year. Maybe next year. As for GIS, I think I will choose a module in there and then I will complete a GEM. I looked through the options, Identity and Western Literature looks extremely appealing =) No doubt I will be the only person I know to bid for the module LOL. But is does seem interesting...