Affairs of the heart

Today, on msn, an old friend asked me a very old question. This question compelled me to make this post even though all the datelines are pressing me at the moment.

She asked, "what do u look out for in relationships? .......i mean the ONE"

I think it is the most asked question in women, young or old. When I was younger and more romantic and more idealistic, I had alot of thoughts and dreams on it too. But now when she asked me so suddenly, I find that, I have no fervour for it at all.

One that suits your needs? To quote from her " it's like u noe it when u see tt person,
nt love at first sight, but something deeper, it's like this connection, tt u KNOW the person." "A soulmate who completes your life and does things best for you." "A life partner...your other half.."

I am sure these words resonates with the "natural frequency" of many people out there.
To these questions I have alot of "practical" and "unromantic" answers. But the question which I find it hard to answer is "dont you have this desire too?"

If I can answer in percentage, I would say, 5% yes, 95% no. Bcos, I know, I believe, I think, there no such good thing in life.

I dunno how to respond. I may have met such a person in the past, but in the end, I have to spend nearly a year to forget him.

And then I know in real life, there is so much more at stake. So much more to contribute and compromise than just....you know he is THE ONE. There is not only love in this world, very sadly. Sometimes, things are so hard, initially you think he is the one...but eventually it turns out not to be. In those times, I can churn out essays and poems and things like that...the artistic side of me which I love and treasure and I feel I can dance in my own poems, my own feelings. Even when sorrow creeps in, I can dance alongside with it, albeit alone....yet there is romanticsm and beauty in it.

But all I can think now of is praticalism, if there is such a word. Is there money for petrol? Is there enough sleep? How will work be affected? What responsibilities can you bear? Etc etc.

In how many months or years have I not written a story, or a poem?

I simply find no surge within me, no inspriation no poetism no romanticsm.......

This post's tone ends with a dull and sorrowful mode...yet still unconvinced of the romanticsm involved with Affairs of the Heart