1st post of March

Just craving, for your attention. Yet now, the only time I can sense you and see you, is only in my dreams.
Last night, I dreamt of you again. Yet even in my dreams, I felt your anger, your displeasure. But in my dreams, I felt your sight. In reality, I felt your wrath.
Your touch is a thousand miles away. Your smile is not even in a dream's place. Your voice is so distant. You asked if I remember your phone call last night. I asked in my heart, if you heard my call for you during each fight.
I didnt want to quarell much with you. But I just want you to know, that I really yearn for you. Yet you seem so distant from me. I want to indulge in you each day. I want you to join in my life, join in my activities, experience my experience, all that I want to share with you, but all these you are absent from. Cant I even grumble abit? You whom I want to share each part of my life with, is absent from it in every way.
When I call you, your voice rejects me in everyway. You ask me why am I crying. I wish you would ask yourself that. The answer lies in your very heart. You know why.
Even in your sms, I feel your indiginity. But can you understand mine? Can you understand the root of mine? The root is I want you this way. But yours, is I dont want you this way. I can see the difference even if you dont.
Each post I make, is futile in its attempt. I know, still I hope you read it and would make some attempts to change. I still am waiting, still waiting and waiting and waiting. Outsiders would ask why. Sometimes I wouldnt reply, for I think it is enough in my heart if I know why. But if one day in my heart I cant find the drive anymore...
You can go to sleep for forget everything. Yet the person that is awake, would feel the agony every minute. I wouldnt make a fuss if I dont care. And if I dont, how long would you take, to realise?
The only thing I feel happy about, is my puppy. She is running about cheerfully in my house. And this morning, I saw my guinea pig looking about 2% better.
My fever and flu have been ongoing for the 5th day already. But where are you?
I saw chicken chop there at my house. Would you come?